crap. i am alone, lonely and sick. i dont really understand what im feeling right now. its like i am the jerk-EST among all the jerk in the world. HA-HA-HA. laugh until someone will notice ur fake laugh and ur fake smile. pretend that ur happy with your life eventhough u know that ur not. everything's been shitty this past days and weeks. i know it will be AGAIN on the next week. how will i overcome this? when will GOD take me to be with him? do i have to be VERY GOOD at all times for GOD to take my life? i know its imposible for me leave this world in this very moment. its not like a snap. though we know that GOD can take our lives anytime of the day, week, month and even year! i still hope that by next week, all this shitty feelings that im feelin' will be over and will never come back. i wont lose faith and hope. GOD has his own reasons. i know. but, how will i know it? its been bothering me for centuries! damn it. oh well. this is my life and i need to get used to it. :( *sigh*